the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
