I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
