I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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