You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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