No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
