What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize