if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
