I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
