My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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