he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
