I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
