There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
