batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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