Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
