I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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