Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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