Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
vagina is talking i cant
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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