He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
