you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
