I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
