just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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