Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
