Me. At least after what I've been through.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dont even know how to be here
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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