"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize