Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
