I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
