I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
50% drunk capacity currently
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
