roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
