butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
