i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
