Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize