....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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