I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
