I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
