I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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