someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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