From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
