I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
