Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
