I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have fence marks all over my body
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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