Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
