I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
