So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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