Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
