Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
