Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
