he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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