u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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