Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
