remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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