and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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