i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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