Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
