I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
