she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
