In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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