Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
