I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
