Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
