are you still at the devil's house?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
