i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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