i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
